"What a day! Nothing happened, and I was tired."
That describes my life. I'm a dull little person. I wake up, sit in front of my computer, try to eat at least once a day (because people tell me I should), feel sad, try to keep myself from feeling worse, get tired, write, think about My Little Pony, and go back to bed, where I sometimes sleep eventually.
I haven't left the house in two weeks. My mother grows more and more passive aggressive towards me, and I become more and more aware what an inconvenience I am... and how true it is that she'd probably be better off without me. (That last statement probably sounds like I'm suicidal. I'm not. I just don't like myself very much, but I am stuck with me.)
And I'm sad a lot of the time. Most of the time. I try to combat this with MLP, Drag Race, Disney movies, and comic books. Sometimes it works for a while. Sometimes it doesn't.
I genuinely hate how often only negative comes out of my mouth. I feel like I used to be able to be more positive. I used to be able to fake it better too. But it all takes so much more energy now. And it's exhausting. I'm so tired of my life. Of life in general.
Next month I turn 27. My mom was 27 when she had me. And I'm not any closer to having a baby than I was this time last year. I'm not any closer to having a life than I was this time last year. I'm not any closer to experiencing a period of happiness than I was this time last year.
My fault though, I guess.
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