Wednesday, May 23, 2018


I had mentioned before that I was thinking of reading two books this month for the reading challenge this month... since I did just read a great illustrated classic and not like the actual proper book.  I was going to also read Animal Farm.  It's not too long, and I didn't dislike what I did read of it in school, I just didn't finish it for whatever reason at the time.  But honestly, I read enough books that I shouldn't feel like I've cheated.  The point was to read at least a book a month, and I certainly do more than that.  And I did fulfill the challenge.  Honestly though I need a break from Literature (tm) after the disappointment of The Prince and the Pauper... comic books and kids' books here I come, lol.

Tuesday, May 22, 2018

12 meses, 12 libros: May: The Prince and the Pauper by Mark Twain (sort of)

The theme for this month is a book you were supposed to read in school but didn't.  I was assigned The Prince and the Pauper in eighth grade, but our school was both poor and cheap and couldn't afford copies for every student to check out and take home... there was a set for the classroom, and all six classes that teacher taught used those books.  We'd spend whole class periods reading this book.  You may be wondering then how I managed not to read it?  Easy.  I got sick and missed several days of school, and I got really behind.  I had already found the book incredibly boring, so when I came back to school and needed to catch up skimmed the book.  I actually would skip words, lines, and even pages.  Just read every other one, lol. 

I had a few options for what I could read this month, but I ended up settling on this one.  But because I remembered finding it dull and too long, I got the idea to read the Great Illustrated Classics version -- basically an adaptation for children.  It maintains the same story but tries to make it accessible for younger readers.

So... let me be totally honest.  When I finished reading this book, dumbed down and shortened as it was, I literally said "oh thank God it's over" out loud.  If that gives you any idea of how much I didn't enjoy it lol.  The thing is, we all know the story... it's been adapted many times and inspired lots of other works.  My favorite version, of course is the Disney one where Mickey plays the dual role of prince and pauper.  But actually reading this version was just.... difficult to get through, because the characters are just utter fucking garbage, lol.  Prince Edward and Tom Canty are the most stupid and obnoxious children that I think have ever been committed to print.  This is like... how do you advertise so hard for maintaining the status quo at the same time as you promote challenging your world view and experiencing new things, lol.  The only thing that I could truly agree with this book about was the implication that privileged people are lowkey kinda stupid.  Also when you watch like the Disney version or what have you, the two boys at least have the agency to decide to switch places.  In this book, it's all a misunderstanding!  The plan was just to try on each other's clothes, and then they get swept up in everythign because Edward is so goddamn stupid that he thinks he'll still be recognized as the prince and he goes to continue throwing his weight around.  The only character I did like was Miles Hendon, but he wasn't enough to make me enjoy it.

I started this book on May 20 and finished on May 22.  It's over 200 pages but every other page is an illustration (which, btw, also weren't great).

Bottom line, would I recommend this book? Fuck no.


i hate that nothing about life is as it's advertised.  nothing about life is really all that good.  the saying "life's too short" is a fucking lie, i'm not even 30 (yet, not until august) and already my life has spanned multiple centuries and been excruciating and seemingly endless.  no one cares about you as much as you care about them.  no one really cares how you are when they ask, no one picks up on small clues that you want to pick the subject, your closest friends laugh at you for stuff that isn't a fucking joke.  life is just plain awful sometimes and i feel so fatigued by it.  nothing is good anymore. maybe it never was.

Wednesday, May 16, 2018

I really do love Simon

I finished reading Simon Vs The Homo Sapiens agenda tonight, and I really want to talk about it.  It's not my assigned libro for the month so I won't make like a formal post on it (if you can call what I've been posting "formal" lol) but I do just have so many thoughts.

I didn't know about this book until I heard about the movie Love, Simon.  But the movie looked really good and really cute, so I wanted to see it.  But money being what it is (also transportation being what it is... and lack of friends to go places with me being what it is lol) I haven't seen it yet.  I've requested the DVD from the library so hopefully I'll get to see it shortly after the home release.  But anyways, since I couldn't see the movie, I decided to grab the book from the library and I'm really glad I did.

I would say this book was a total feel good read.  It's not sappy and gooey, and there are a lot of heavy emotions involved, but I was happy the whole time I read it.  I got invested in Simon as a character, fell in love with him as a person, and wanted the best for him.  He feels like a real teenager.  I really love him as a character... what a loveable idiot.

This book made me really want to read Becky Albertalli's other work too.  I'm going to request them from the library, I think.  

I'm kind of just rambling because it's late and I'm full of thoughts, but I really enjoyed this cute little book.  It was a fast read, and it felt so incredibly authentic, and it just made me feel warm.  SO wonderful.

Tuesday, May 8, 2018


When I was younger, I used to imagine myself in this adult life surrounded by people who loved me.  That was all I wanted... a few close, true friends and a small family (maybe a spouse, a kid or two, and some pets).  I figured that was all I would need to be happy.  But now I'm an adult, and I don't have that... and I'm not happy.  I do have a few friends, and I'm grateful for them... but I also have many people masquerading as friends who just drain me.  They don't mean to, I know they don't... but they take advantage of my kindness.  I've been hurt, and I have a hard time letting people in, but when I do let you in I'm loyal and true to you and patient with you... and people take advantage of that.  I had people who loved me when I was little (my grandparents mostly) but they're gone now.  I experienced love then, but I don't feel like I do anymore, and I keep ending up with people that I feel are unwilling to try and give that to me.  I seek people who don't know how to love because I don't know how to accept love??? I don't know, maybe.  Maybe I expect too much of people.  Maybe I don't understand the way others express emotions.  Maybe I don't even deserve better and should just stop.  I should just stop, lol.  Just accept it.

Monday, May 7, 2018


you know that feeling where you're weary of life lol... like not even for specific reasons, but because being alive and having to navigate everything that comes with it is A Lot

Thursday, May 3, 2018

keyboard smash for emphasis

are you ever just literally so angry about shit that isn't even major or important, but enough little shit has piled up on one evening that you're just ready to go tf off on anyone who gets too close? because that is how i feel.  apparently it's funny that i feel like this though, because no one ever takes my feelings seriously.  and that's fine.