Saturday, June 6, 2015

horny for friendship -- terms found in my google search history

So things have been slightly improved lately.  Not like tap dancing in the streets improved but like it's been less difficult to do things improved.  Of course it's still up and down.  Today was a little rocky, but you know.  It could always be worse.

I've been getting more of those desperately lonely feelings lately.  It's not new by any means, but sometimes it's more pressing.  It's been kind of pressing again.  I don't know.  I just long for something but I don't know how to put it in words.  It's not a thing so much as a feeling.  I want to feel so loved and embraced and safe.  I want to feel like I matter.  My life is so empty, sometimes it's very hard not to feel like it's pointless... but I want to feel something that proves to me that isn't the case.  I want to enrich someone else's life.

I want a very best friend.

I want to figure out how I drove the last one away and never do that again.

Oh... and I want to stop hurting because of the last one.