So, back to my emotional problems. YAY...
Okay. So, I'm really emotional all the time these days. Sometimes I feel like I'm going to cry at things like montages on sitcoms or old pictures or cute things my cats do. Sometimes I'm really, really angry. Like I feel like the world is out to get us, and it pisses me off. Everyone seems to suck... but you know, it can't be everyone. It must be me. Sometimes I can't rally the energy to do anything more strenuous than lay in bed next to my cat O'Malley and read a book. Small disappointments feel like roundhouse kicks to the chest. I'm paranoid. I'm lonely. I hate my life sometimes. Most of the time.
I don't know why I feel like this. Some days are pretty okay, and others are horrible. This one isn't exactly horrible, but it's pretty bad.
Am I crazy? Well, I should ask, am I crazier? I've always been sorta off.
The only things that can really make me feel happy and/or enthusiastic are material things and otherwise unimportant things.
I'm starting to feel like writing this all down might help me or at least help me understand myself. Is that possible? Maybe making this public will make me accountable to myself? I can usually feel better when I concentrate on it... perhaps that's what I have to do.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to watch Drake & Josh.
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Have you considered visiting a psychologist? I know both BC and CSUB are supposed to have some on staff. And in general, severe mood swings not related to your menstrual cycle tend to be bad signs. Lol, I should know, I'm bipolar. :P
ReplyDeleteHi Bre,
ReplyDeleteIt's not just you. Trust me, it's not just you. I feel much the same way, partly due to the menstrual cycle, partly due to my rather dysfunctional family, partly due to my undiagnosed (but still likely there) Asperger's syndrome. It's a combination of factors that make me feel much like this. I usually find that blogging helps me, and of course, talking with either friends or a psychologist.
Hang in there! Just know that you aren't the only one feeling this way. I don't know what it is about our world now, but these feelings are becoming commonplace...
-Laura
Whoa, I have comments on my blog!
ReplyDeleteI've actually requested therapy as a Christmas gift in the past. Not even close, lol. And I have no money, insurance, or anything to get myself there.
I knew there was one at BC, but I think you have to be enrolled, and I'm done there. Haven't gotten to CSUB yet.
I also think the lack of job, school, social life, etc doesn't help whatever problems I have...
That's true, sitting alone at home a lot can twist your mind up quite bit. I always get extra...weird when I spend too much time alone. But I like spending time alone. It's a quandary. D:
ReplyDeleteI think you're right about BC. CSUB you don't have to be enrolled to visit a psychologist, because I believe they have a program where psychology students working towards their Masters offer counseling services since they need a certain amount of hours of practice. They don't cover the real serious crazy (for safety reasons, I'm sure), but you never know. It does cost some money though. Still, something to think about:
http://www.csub.edu/documents/counselorTrainingBrochure.pdf