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I do really well when I have distractions, for the most part.  Something to do, somewhere to go, something to watch, something to listen to.  I need to fill the world around me with distractions.  Interestingly enough, that's easier said than done though.

I should be trying harder, maybe.  I don't know.  Sometimes I put in as much effort as I can... and it makes me feel worse to realize that even that isn't enough.

I don't know.  Actually, maybe I should stop writing about it (because then I think about it more).  Though sometimes talking about it helps... but isn't as easy as writing about it.  I don't know what I should be doing differently (besides the one thing I kinda can't do).

Whatever.

The last week had like alternating good and bad days.  The good ones were great!  The bad ones were really bad.  I felt like I was being jerked around... and my own stupid, malfunctioning brain was the one doing it to me.  It doesn't matter now anyways... I don't remember much of the bad days anyways.  (I hope that's depression and not, like, a brain tumor or something.)

In other news, my wrist has been hurting.  I'm thinking of looking into one of those soviet prosthetic arms like Bucky Barnes has.  And I went and did a grape stomp yesterday and that was really fun.  It hasn't been all bad.  It's never all bad, and for that I honestly am thankful.