So

I've decided I'm gonna start keeping track of these episodes I have -- anxiety attacks, the bad thing I shouldn't do, the like.  I'm hoping that it'll help me make sense of it all in some way and not, y'know, trigger me when I look at it.  And I also hope I don't forget the shorthand I adopted for it, lol.

I don't know if I said, but I had an anxiety attack in bed the other night and I had one just a while ago.  It passed though... I'm calm and feeling better now.  Still slightly uneasy, but better.  I've had no energy (though that isn't really new).  Like I sleep for hours on end and wake up exhausted.  I don't even know.  It's also gotten back to where it's extremely difficult to get out of bed in the mornings again.  I'm sorta using Pluto as my motivation to do it.  He's a dog, he's gotta go out.  He doesn't deserve to have to wait until my mood suits it.  I've also had trouble focusing, and I'm pretty sure I had like a minor depersonalization moment yesterday too.  =/  I'm not a 100% on that one though, I was feeling really, really weird and I don't exactly understand the feelings I was having.  I don't know if I've ever experienced that before... at least not in that way.

This isn't me keeping track of it, btw.  I'm keeping that in a word doc.  This is just me talking about where I am.

I don't want to be where I am anymore.