My main goal for the
new year is to have a good time. I know that sounds frivolous, but a
someone who has spent waaay too much time depressed and miserable and
having lots of bad times, I feel like it's important that I make that
effort for myself. Enjoy life as much as I can. But due to the fact
that I've been extra stressed and miserable (like… stressed to the
point that it's caused me to be physically ill), I'm making a
concentrated effort NOW to enjoy the little things. One thing I
really enjoy is live theater… but you know, I couldn't remember the
last time I saw a play. So last weekend, I went to see It's a
Wonderful Life performed live at a local community theater.
It's a Wonderful
Life is my favorite Christmas movie, and honestly one of my
favorite movies in general, so I was excited to see a live
production! I had a really good time… the actors did a great job
and it was staged really well. I ended up getting really emotional
though of course… that story means so much to me. The play really
made me think about it.
I relate to George
Bailey. I relate to this character who feels out of control of a
life that didn't turn out like he thought it would. This is a man
who has done for others and lost out on so much, but has always tried
to be kind and be thankful for what he has… a man who ends up in a
situation that he feels there is no way out of.
There have been
numerous points in my life where it felt like the sky was falling.
Sometimes the crisis was real, and sometimes it was just a regular
problem that my anxiety magnified… but I've been where George
Bailey was. I've struggled with depression and suicidal ideation for
years. And when I was at the worst of it (as, uh, I sometimes still
am… healing isn't linear lol), I found myself at times wishing for
a miracle like George got. When I was lonely, again as I still often
am, I found myself wishing to feel like I had friends enough to be as
rich as George Bailey.
I have had some
miracles to get me through the really bad times and keep this leaky
roof over my head, and this story reminds me to be grateful for that.
I could also sit
here and go into how any criticism of this movie for being “too
depressing” truly misses the point, or how it's incredibly timely
that the backdrop of this story is a poor community full of people
struggling for property rights (and how, as someone who has survived
foreclosure, this resonates deeply with me)… but I'll leave it here
and save the in depth thoughts to more eloquent folk.
The play was a
really lovely experience – at once true to the movie and able to
stand on its own. My fellow Bakersfield peeps, it's playing at the
Empty Space for one more weekend… you should catch it if you can!
As I said, I saw the play last week… I meant to write this sooner,
but I was having computer difficulty. And then I got worn out
because of work, lol. Better late than never I guess.
When I checked in on
facebook at the theater last week, I got an ad that another local
theater (Bakersfield Community Theater) was showing Miracle on
34th Street, so I went to that tonight.
I really enjoyed it too, and that's another favorite Christmas story
of mine… but I don't have the energy to go in depth with my
thoughts. There wouldn't be as much to say because as much as I do
love it, I don't have quite the same connection with it. But I would
recommend going to see it at BCT next weekend if you can!
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