I said to someone recently that I didn't feel like the people around me were supporting me, and they asked me what I wanted these hypothetical people to do.  I didn't really know how to answer that because it seemed fairly obvious to me -- I'm desperately alone, alternating between desperately empty and desperately sad... and in short, desperately desperate.  I'm looking for emotional support.  But I didn't know how to put into words what that would entail.  I think right now the main thing that would be is I want someone, anyone, to listen to me, really listen to me, and not just wait for me to finish talking so they can have their turn to talk.  I get a lot of that... and of people who don't wait for me to finish and just talk over the top of me.  I just want to feel heard.  I want to feel like someone cares.  I would give anything to feel that, I swear on my life I would.

a lot of the times i feel like no one listens to me.  no one pays enough attention to care.  people don't... take the time to know jack shit about me or my life, besides the extremely superficial.  and the more that happens, the more i feel like i need to put up walls; if they're going to be outside i'm going to be the one to keep them out there... feels less like rejection that way.  but i still end up alone and it still sucks.