Sometimes we get what we deserve

Bad things happen to me quite regularly.  Not feeling sorry for myself, just stating an objective fact.  And I might think to myself at times, "I didn't deserve that.  I'm a good person.  Why do these things keep happening?"  But the truth is that that is a load of crap.  A load of crap I sell myself to try and feel better... to excuse myself for feeling bad.  Because I'm not a good person.  I'm lazy, I snap at people, I whine a lot.  I'm selfish, self-destructive, and a drama queen.  I do deserve all the bad things that happen to me.  And they happen because it's my fault.  Everything that's wrong is my fault.