I like how when I screw up I don't just sorta screw up, I screw up massively and royally and set myself back almost a month of hard work.  I like how when I do screw up, I realize it as I'm making the mistake but it's too late, can't pull myself out.  I'm mad at myself and also relaxing back into the state of dgaf.  I don't have the motivation to give a fuck.  Like honestly?? What's the difference?  Literally nothing.