My idea of a happy post

Well, I've noticed that my last few posts (probably all of my posts, actually) have been written when I wasn't in a happy frame of mind.  They're all moody, sad, angry, or resigned.  So I decided I would write a happy post.

But... I'm not happy.

I mean, it's not as if I'm particularly unhappy at the moment, I'm just sort of neutral.  But in my life, neutral is good.

The last few weeks have brought me a case of tonsilitis, a major crisis with my best friend, more wrestling with my own emotions and whatnot, and a possibly pregnant cat.  So, with all that stuff looming just behind me, I'm pretty happy to be sort of neutral.

There.  I knew if I searched long enough I'd find some happiness.  =)

Common Law Divorce

A few months ago, my aunt and uncle broke up.  My aunt found this new guy and said she wanted a change.  They were together for 23 years... as long as I've been alive.  And then they broke up, and that was it.  And because she is my mother's sister and he is her ex, I just figured that was it.  We wouldn't be seeing him anymore... and I was sad about that.  I miss him... I still think he's a good guy.  

I don't have a problem with her new boyfriend.  He seems nice, he's really funny, and she's really happy so I'm happy for her.  But they act like a couple of teenagers... it's almost disgusting.  I have a little trouble really saying that I like her new boyfriend.  It's just weird to me... he's just here all of a sudden and we're all supposed to look at him as a part of the family.  But... he's not my uncle.  He's not anything more to me than my aunt's boyfriend.  Again, it's nothing against him... I just... I need to adjust, I guess.

The other night, my uncle turned up on our porch.  Very drunk and depressed.  He still really, really loves her and hopes she'll come back to him.  And he kept making sure we know that he still thinks of us as family.  And honestly, I think of him the same way.

What I guess I'm trying to say is that family doesn't have to be blood.  It doesn't even have to be through marriage.  Your family should be the people you love and care about... the people you know would be there for you if you needed them.  I have friends that I consider to be like family.  The neighbors on either side of my house are like extra grandmothers.  And my aunt's ex is my uncle... even if he's nothing but bad memories to her.  That's just the way it is.

If you can't be with the one you love...

... love the one who's not going to try to kill you.

I recently found out that a very dear, old friend got hurt really badly because of her boyfriend. I'm ashamed to say that I got a funny vibe from him but didn't say anything to her because I didn't feel it was my place. He had been violent in the past and others had expressed concern but no one got anywhere with her.

I understand when you care about someone you're more likely to overlook flaws, but a dangerous personality is something far worse than a little bad habit.

I'm alone... no boyfriend. Sometimes I think to myself, "okay, I'm getting desperate" but I am not so desperate that I'd be willing to deal with someone who I didn't feel safe with. But even as I say this, I know that my friend was not desperate when she met this guy. She doesn't have to settle. Maybe she rushed in... maybe he hid his temper. I don't know.

When something like this happens, it makes me not want to trust anyone ever again. But that's not a healthy attitude. It is smart, however, to be on your guard.

If anyone happens to be reading this that is with someone that has shown signs of a violent or aggressive temperament, don't take any chances.