I want to die.  Like... sometimes I just want it so bad.  I wish I could get shot by a sniper or ran over by a car or drown in the bathtub or something.  I'm tired.  Life sucks.  And when I try to do things to improve it, they backfire and things suck worse.  When I do nothing, things fester and suck worse.  And I just... no.  Twenty seven years has been long enough.  I'm okay not making it much longer.

Well, shit

So life chugs on very much in the same fashion.  It hasn't been great but we're all still alive, so awesome.  I had a really good day yesterday.  That's not sarcasm either... it was a very good day.  But today has been kind of the exact opposite.  Very much in my own head.  I didn't get much sleep last night, it was a struggle to get out of bed this morning, and a black cloud has hung over me and I can't seem to quite get out from underneath.  But... whatever.  I'm dealing with it, hoping it'll pass.

Yesterday I wrote a lot and made a candle.  I was around people, and I'm pretty sure I was more outgoing than usual (which is good... I really want to be less weird and awkward and offputting lol).  I'm hoping for more days like that.